You have to be a certain type of person to be your own boss, and I really didn’t think I fell into that criteria. Yes I am motivated and I have lots of ideas. But I am also shy and like the security of having a regular pay packet. But when the opportunity came up for me to open a shop – I was blinded by the sheer excitement of it, that I didn’t once think of the ‘FEAR” that you get with having your own business and premises.
Being your own boss means you can take as much holiday as you want to, whatever hours you want and answer to no one. But what actually happens is you take no holiday, work all the time and feel guilty if you have a cold and can’t face going in today – so you crawl in to work. I never thought that would happen to me, I love paid holiday and would ‘go to the dentist’ at least seven times a year.
By being your own boss there is a huge sense of achievement when you sell, when someone complements your shop and when you get press attention or awards. You feel like a very proud boarding on creepy mother. But the flip side of it is that you get stressed out when you have quiet periods, your rationale goes out the window and you are sure that you and your shop are rubbish . You are constantly trying to think outside of the box and if you could you would wear a sandwich board advertising your shop at all times.
The balance of work and private life blend into one which for me I use to my advantage. I put on lots of late night events and invite all my friends along so I can do both work and have a social life. It is strange but I dream most nights about my shop and I almost feel that we are now one and the same and even my dog Rose thinks of the shop as her other home.
Although there are grey and black periods there are also Technicolor moments where I have to pinch myself and think it is weird you are not that little girl dressed up in a Wonder Woman outfit rocking bangles on your thighs you are now a grown up with stock, over heads and tax to be paid! Having Painted Black made me into a grown up but in the best possible way.